Always What's Not Said
by Keftense
Summary: This is a short tribute story dedicated to a man whom recently lost his battle with cancer, done in the universe of Zootopia. It is not cannon with any of my other stories published or to come. I didn't know what else to do, but I found that this could be an effective outlet to share a quick story and a message. No harsh language, No violence.


**AN: This is a tribute story for someone in my life who just lost their battle with cancer. I have known the man since I was 7 and he was always there for my family. His light heart, smiling face, and soothing voice brought light to an otherwise dark world. Most of this details my last visit with him as well as the day I got the news...**

 **Always What's Not Said**

Nick pulled his car into the apartment complex lot, searching for an uncovered spot to park. His thoughts drifted back to these last few days. Bill had called to wish him a Merry Christmas. He had sounded good on the phone but something was amiss. After a few moments he had said the dreaded word - 'Hospice'. Now just a few days later, here he was, searching for a parking spot for what would likely be the last time he ever saw that old reynard.

Nick finally managed to pull into a spot and shut off the car. He didn't step out but exhaled quietly and leaned his head back against the headrest, staring out the window with half-lidded eyes. The pit in his stomach refused to leave, his fur itched, and paws sweat. Finally with a grunt, he opened his door and stepped out of the car, feeling like his paws weighed more than they possibly could. The winter air was cool and crisp, the breeze ruffled his fur, but did nothing to soothe his troubled nerves. In his deepest thoughts, Nick had forgotten the room number of where Bill had been living. He pulled out his phone and dialed the familiar number. Only a few rings passed before a smooth voice came over the line, causing a lump to form in Nick's throat.

"Hello?"

Nick swallowed quickly to conceal his emotions. "Hey Billy! I'm outside your apartment but I can't remember your room number. Care to help a guy out?"

Bill only let out a slow laugh before responding, "Oh...well...it's room number 1030...just come on in...the door is unlocked!"

Nick smiled hearing his soothing slow voice, the same as he always heard it growing up. "Sure thing Bill, see ya in a second."

"Oh...ohhhkkkaaayyy."

Nick smirked to himself as he walked the short path to the door 1030. He stood there for a moment as his eyes stung a little. He inhaled deeply and knocked once before entering the room. The sight made his heart drop. Inside the small apartment, where a small dining table should have been, was a hospital bed. In it, lay Bill, frail with an IV disappearing beneath the covers. The old reynard's fur was thin and dull as his blue eyes wandered around the room, sightless. Nick stood between the bed and the kitchen and placed a paw on Bill's leg and tried to smile.

"Hey there Bill! How ya hangin?"

Bill smiled, "Oh...well...hah...I'm hangin. I can almost see you...mostly just a blobish shape though."

Nick smirked as he pulled up a chair, and sat next to his old friend, "Aw that's good though! You're not missing much! Don't tell anyone but I didn't brush my fur before coming!"

Bill cocked an eyebrow, "Oh...ooohhh..dear...I'm telling everybody!"

The old fox sent his paw waving around for a moment when Nick realized he was looking for him. He reached out and took his paw in his own. Bill smiled weakly and inhaled deeply before letting out a coughing fit. It made Nick cringe listening to him struggle with it. After the fit Bill licked his lips before continuing.

"So...what have you been up to?"

Nick squeezed Bill's paw, "Well...I joined the ZPD."

The old vulpine looked in his direction, but eyes failed to lock onto anything in particular. "Oh?...Well, sounds like you are on your way to being an upstanding fellow!"

Nick chuckled at that, "Well I'm trying."

After a few minutes, others came to visit. Stephany, an arctic fox and Raymond a large cape buffalo showed up to support their friend as well. They made pleasant conversation just making it a point to include the fading fox in their daily lives. Stephany started to massage Bill's paws under the covers as she spoke. At one point Bill simply smiled and started groaning.

"Oh...ooooh...ho!...ow...ho!"

Stephany laughed at his smirk, "Oh Bill, you alright?"

He simply chuckled, "Oh, yeah...I'm in heaven! Yeah...you can just keep doing that!"

Raymond laughed, "I hope we can bring you some dinner from the Jess Bistro! We miss having you over for dinner!"

The reynard laughed, "After all of the hospital food I've had...I would love some of that cooking of yours!"

The time crept by. Nick listened to the conversations, but never broke his sight from his old friend and continued to hold his paw. Soon only he remained in the room with Bill who had started to fall asleep. It was hard to tell if he was indeed sleeping or not since the fox was so blind, he was rarely away if his eyes were open or not.

"Hey Bill?"

The reynard opened his eyes, "Yeah?"

"I gotta get going, but I think I will come visit you more later...you don't live all that far from me you know?"

The fox smiled and raised his arms up for a hug which Nick gladly wrapped his own arms around him as Bill spoke in his ear. "I'm so proud of you. You have done so much and grown from that little kit I met on our family bike rides all those years ago."

The older fox felt so very frail, like a skeleton with fur and flesh stretched over it. Nick wanted to memorize everything about his long time friend right there but nothing was the same. Only his voice remained. Even his smell had changed to one of alcohol and medical equipment. A single tear rolled down his snout.

"Thanks Bill...I love you."

As the embrace broke, Bill kept his paws on Nick's arms. For a moment, a split second he thought that that fox's blue eyes locked with his green... "I love you too, Nick."

Days passed but Bill never rested far from Nick's thoughts. Work, personal obligations, and sheer laziness seemed to get in the way of a short 5 minute drive to old Bill's house. Some part of Nick told him that Bill had been a part of his life for so long that there was no way he would just up and die. Bill had mentioned on the phone that doctors said that he could die anytime between a few days or a few months. So Nick comforted himself thinking that there was still time to share with his old friend. When Bill did fill his thoughts, it was of doing something nice for him. Like reading the old reynard some of his writing he had been working on, a fun fantasy novel that always made Judy roll her eyes at but she was secretly proud of him for the hard work he had put into it. Or just to show up and share in some of the details of his day with him.

Thursday...January 19th...Nick got a text from Raymond. One that made Nick's heart sink and nerves light.

"Hey bud, just thought I would let you know that Billy passed away last night. I don't have any further details at this time."

Nick stared at the screen for a moment, completely numb as his paws typed out a response. "Okay Ray. Thanks for the heads up. I appreciate it."

He set his phone down and stared out at nothing in his meeting. He wasn't sure how to react to what he had just heard. He thought about letting the animals he was with know, but instead he just went through the motions until they were done. Nighttime fell and he could only climb in his car and start driving. He didn't go home or anywhere in particular. He simply drove as his claws dug into the steering wheel. The streetlights began to blur as his eyes stung. He pulled off into an empty parking lot and let his emotions take over. The tears flowed as his breath came in short labored gulps. It wasn't so much that his longtime friend was gone...it was what he never said, what he never did, and that he never made it for another visit after that first one. He could have spent a day reading his story to Bill, who had mentioned on many occasions wanting to hear it, or to sit and laugh with the reynard, share some stories of how he became a police officer...or about who Judy was.

The emotions came on wave after wave beating him down deeper into his sorrow and regret. After minutes of that, regret became resolve. He would never allow anything to stop him from making the last minutes of anyone's life his mission to share in. He would never let anything go unsaid, the pain was too great, guilt too heavy.

All he could do was to dry his eyes, take a deep breath, and live on. Not just for himself but for Billy too. He would live for his old friend that had known him as a kit, came to family dinners, and helped him pick out a shiny new bicycle he had saved for. He would go on with his life, because in the end...time stands still for no one.

 **AN: This short story is dedicated to William "Billy" Frasier. He became a lifelong family friend after helping my step father pick out a new bike. We went on family bike rides together for many years before it turned into Saturday night card games. We continued on that path until my grandmother died of cancer in 2001. Since then, we had drifted away from Bill but maintained phone calls at least once a week. We had thought he had beaten the cancer until that phone call on Christmas day. Please, if you know someone who is in Hospice, or doesn't have much time left, heed my warning and leave nothing unsaid. Make it your mission to see them, share with them, and enjoy the last days you have with them.**

 **Thanks for taking the time to read this, it means a lot to me and I really needed to share what he meant to me. Rest in peace Billy, enjoy those heavenly bike rides and say hi to grandma for us!**

 **Travel well**

 **-Keft**


End file.
